Table of Contents


GM Notice: This is an Out Of Character area for discussion, testing Wiki Syntax, and just about anything else. Anything presented here should not be considered In Character knowledge.

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Can't… resist… posting… on… playground…



Because some of our players like to write a lot, please find all Fic posted to fic.

Somehow we managed to access our servers in the Memorandum. Our fleet-wide webpage has been updated with some of our recent exploits and a couple of new, insignificant ships.

Must…resist…attempts to make this look like a geocities page… — Seb A 2016/04/26 10:23

The Spaceshipping Forecast!

Plausible Dekniability - Tai/Knight
Casualties of War - Valerie Haydn/Death's sweet embrace
Like a Bag Full of Cats - Escher Stryer/Katherine Harte
There Are No Problems Here - Bradley/Raina
All By Myself - Lobby/Lobby
OC Inevitablity - Tai/Bradley
Hilaratai Ensues - Tai/Lara
It's time for your physical - Apollo/Stride
Walking into the light - Marian Stride/Luxe Rosenberg
More than you can Chu - Marian/Ivanka
Fire(Nation)y Passion - Tai/Lee
Prom Queen - Tai/Katherine
The Inevitable Conclusion of All These Tai Ships - Tai/Tai

Names are hard

Marcus “The Hamburger” Hammarberg
Luxe “Luxembourg” Rosenberg
Ivanka “Bless you” Chu —do you mean “Squeaky Chu-Toy”?
Marian “Motherfucking” Stride
Alexis Holtman… Holtmann? Haltman? No, Holtmon.
Bradley Bells van Bellsey Dalls ban Bradley Balen?
la kesma'ecikre: /la kɛsmahɛˈʃikɹɛ/, Is it really that hard?
^ “La kes… la kesma… la kesma'eshi- oh fuck it. JULIANNE RELLEY'S SHIP” ← Far too often
^^ “Kesma, kesma, ecikre. Kesma, kesma, ecikre. OohhhhhhhHHHHhhhhh” (to the tune of Paradise)
^^^ Internally cringing with my knowledge of where it actually makes sense to break the word (kes-ma'e-cikre)

At least 0.16% of humanity now has a name starting Luc-. True percentage may be much higher.

Update post Conference 6: Percentage of humanity whose name starts 'Luc-' or whose name *is* Luuk is now at least 0.24%. This implies that the non-Luc-named population has a disproportionately higher chance of dying. Correlation or causation?

You guys don't want to know what I accidentally called the Bucephalus


Has there been any definition of how much a scion is meant to be worth? If not, how are we meant to start pricing things? Also, I feel like we probably ought to have a symbol for them if they'll actually be used. ($c perhaps)

1 Scion is (currently) worth about the value of 1 algae cake. I will clarify this on the market place when the lock is free. - GM James

Surely the symbol is a ç given it's pronounced as a soft “sc” - GM Tom

I don't know how big an algae cake is either, but that's lower than I expected, given how little of the currency there seems to be. - Andrew K-R

I now choose to believe that algae cakes are enormous, tiered, green wedding-cakes.

Best IC Quotes

Knight: Don't doubt my honour or my word. I mean doubt it usually but not in this specific instance.

Ari: Double fucker!

From Earth, Yours Sincerely: You can take our humanity… but you can never take our humanity!

Tai: any maniacal psychiatrist even begins to contemplate pulling some kind of stunt
and ill be on em like an oedipal complex
not the freaky bit with all the incest
the bit where someone gets their eyes literally ripped from their sockets sharpish
^ I feel like Tai's lack of punctuation or capital letters is Emma channeling something…
^ Are you implying that Tai is a manifestation of my deep-seated desire to escape from grammar's tyrannical confines, or that her syntax is a blatant ripoff of Dave Strider's? I can neither confirm nor deny!
^ I'm implying that you're sick of correcting the SPAG of younglings…
^ Hah! Nonsense - that's my calling.

Escher: Rumours of my insanity have been greatly exaggerated.

Stride: Knock yourself out… just don't knock us out.

Stride: Let me just write that down… “Democracy…Bitches…”

Jimmy: The last time I tried to explain something like this a man hit me with a crowbar.

Richard Black, to a woman in an immobilized escape pod: I'll be right back. Stay right there.

Scipio Surran: I won't lobotomise everyone without at least a few people's consent!


Ilonara: Like the new look.
Sunny: I'm in MOURNING.
Ilonara: Yeah. Suits you.

Gal: The Apparitions seem to follow certain rules.
Decebal: Until they decide not to.
Gal: Until it is convenient for them not to, yes. “Fuck you, physics!”

Richard: Gal, if you want me to have any chance of survival, turn the ship sixty degrees to starboard.

Tai: fuck being scared
weve been that sure but weve been a million other way better things

Hansel: I'd ask you out for a drink but I don't believe there are any drinks left.

Apollo: My gills… do they arouse you?

Apollo and Ezra, mid-torture: “Tranquiliser or adrenaline?”
“Both, surely?”
“Yes, but which do you want to do?”


The GMs were benevolent beings in Conference 4. Of the crew of the Hussar, battling a belligerent Apparition monstrosity and sacrificing their ship by flying it into the enemy, escaping by launching themselves in puny escape pods and flying the long unsheltered distance to the St Nikolaos just before it Jumped to DS3, not a single bloody one died. Jammy bastards.

Oy. Full credit to their sacrifice, but they didn't fly all the way to the St Nick. They were picked up and carried over to you guys in our luxurious ambulance shuttle.

Yes, our “ambulance” “shuttle”.

Don't forget “luxurious”.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? They're a horrible tin can with thin air and no amenities. Our “ambulance” has chairs and beds/stretchers, even. So yes, luxurious. (And at least we don't serve people as food, unlike other luxury airlines.)

Not to mention the massage / heated seating, refreshments, in-flight movie and, above anything else, the mahogany wood-paneling. Fly Bolygo!

Actual, in-service luxury ambulance. You'll be getting the bill soon. 20-odd people, was it?

Your comments have been noted, we will ensure that the appropriate number of people die next session. - GM Mike

YOU BASTARDS! Come on, own up, who wrote that? I want to know who to blame for my death.

Nope. Whoever wrote that is only responsible for any deaths that occur in this next session. See Mike's comment.

Did you mean?

More PCs having their ship tag changed to the St Nikolaos. Sure, why not just rename us St Nik the Dumping Ground? XD

Containment Cube Corner

For everyone's favourite Apparition Containment Device:

Can confirm: GM Meeting had many many allusions to the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.

TEMPEST Alliance.
We do what we must because
We can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones that are dead.

(And there are a lot of those.)

Still, we've got algae cakes
They're so nutritious and dry.
If you dwell too long
It'll make even ikkab0d cry.
But though we'll struggle and die
We've got to just try!
For the people who are
Still alive.

Yes, the Apparitions will come
Cos they feed off our fright.1)
But we'll get to Vega 7
In the face of our plight
If we can harness PHOBOS
We might survive (we just might)!

…“Meet up with Salvation.”
What a load
Of bull
That was.

Even so we'll carry on
Bitter and weary.
Although it's
Looking kind of dreary…

Anyway, we've made this Cube.
It doesn't work yet.

Look at them2) infighting when there's science to do
When we see Apparitions it makes us
Accidentally poo.
So we'll use our new skills
Rack up Apparition kills
For the people who are
Still alive.
And yes there are people still alive
Still alive.
Still alive…

Fun Fact: The wiki syntax includes footnotes!

Can we please take a moment to appreciate “When we see Apparitions it makes us / Accidentally poo”. (Also, have you considered joining the Oxford University Light Entertainment Society? :D )

Containment Cube as Of the beginning of Session 5…

Scipio's attitude to whatever may or may not be in the Containment Cube…

The Containment Cube (and the Zarathustra) as of the beginning of Session 6…

Graphs are Fun

This curve-fit suggests a non-integer negative number of rabbits was recorded recently on the Pelorus. This seems to warrant further study.

Non-integer is easy (brandishes meat-cleaver menacingly). Negative might be useful if you need lots of power (e.g. for that apparition-cleansing process) and you can react the anti-rabbits with matter. It does depend what exactly you count as a rabbit though. Oh gods, we did this in Ragnarok. In the words of the mighty, oh no, not again.

The EESTF production of HMS Pinafore did not go well....

We fly through open space,
Apparitions on our ta-il,
They're going to eat our face,
Which would prob-ly be a fail.

Fair moon, to thee I sing,
Bright regent of this sector,
Say, why is everything
Either some space-shit or a spectre?

But now, my kindly crew re-be-el,
My daughter back on Earth was slaughtered,
As Lockhart storms, and sad to tell,
Threatens a court-martial

Kind Captain, I've important information,
Sing hey, the kind commander that you are,
About an apparition aberration,
Sing hey, the creepy ghost-ships by that star.
The creepy, creepy ghost-ships,
The creepy, creepy ghost-ships,
Sing hey, the creepy ghost-ships by that star.

Bring the ghost of Bells on-board ship,
Rend the crew with warbling wild,
For the death death death death death death
Death death [incomprehensible screaming]

We ruined it

This isn't how it was meant to go.

…Lehrer is always relevant, but…whut?

Amazing! Needs to be the anthem of the Fleet!

Haiku - Ode to Turnsheets

Clattering keyboards
How late on a Monday night
Do I sleep or wait?

Ode to Turnsheets 2 - 2spooky

Meanwhile in turnsheets
An Apparition appears
Oh no you've been spooked

Ode to Turnsheets 3 - Still not as good as 2

Why do I spend time
On witty action titles
Alas puns can't save me

Ode to Turnsheets 4 - Why does apparitions have so many syllables?

Wait I've a new plan
Do Apparitions like puns?
Perhaps GMs do.

Ode to Turnsheets 5 - Response

I'll be quite honest
Haikus do not speed us up
We just mow the lawn.

Best OC Quotes

Michael: Plus your fluff threads are bad enough when you're only fluffing one person.

Connor: Well Ezra's joint life insurance and coffin business is going extraordinarily well.

Steph: I don't mind people turning on Ivanka - she was always there to be turned on!

Michael: Oh no you have been booped

Amy: Ain't no party like a Triumphant party because in a Triumphant party… Everybody unexpectedly lives?

GM CD Tracklist

Some songs had to be cut, but this is the ideal, full length CD tracklist. It's also minus an introduction, and some silly sound effects… BWWWWWAAAAHMMMM.

Opening theme – Star Wars Opening Theme

Princess Opening Theme - The Indelicates - Beyond the Radio Horizon

Princess - It's a Disaster - Ok Go

La Kesma'ecikre - The Ting Tings - That's Not My Name.

Ashmi – Still Alive – Portal

The Dead – Out Alive – Kesha

Slipstream – Beautiful Dirty Rich – Lady Gaga

Katherine Harte - Queen Bee- Rochelle Diamanté

Katherine Harte- Monsters - Ruelle

Luca Attwood - Melanie Martinez - Sippy Cup

The Slipstream - Leslie Fish - Hanrahan's Bar

Sal/Slipstream/Dreamers - Sondheim's Assassins - Everybody's got the right

Dreamers – Mr Sandman – The Chordettes

Apparition Theories - Joss Whedon/Buffy: Once More with Feeling - I've got a theory

Natalia Rodchenko - VNV nation - The Farthest Star

Robbin – Mordred’s Lullaby – Heather Dale

Ezra – Waiting for the Vampire Lord – Vampire Hospital Waiting Room

Dr. Apollo Leonard - Little Shop of Horrors Cast - Dentist!

Sal – Epiphany – Sweeney Todd

Slipstream – A Little Priest – Sweeney Todd

Bolygo – Animals- (Please Don't Let Me Be) Misunderstood

Bolygo – Animals - We've Got to Get Out of This Place

Sergei Kovac - Jason Steele / Charlie the Unicorn - I Am a Millipede

Decebal - The Ship of Stone - Kathy Mar (Don Simmons')

Hackers-Digital World - Amaranthe

Vyrin Rosen - Plug in Baby – Muse

ikkab0d - Michael Guy Bowman - Chain of Prospit

Ray Dawson - Bonnie and Clyde Cast Album - When I Drive

Ray Dawson - Julia Ecklar - Ballad of a Spaceman

Ray Dawson - Vic Tyler - Dawson's Christian

Ray Dawson - Frank Hayes - Little Fuzzy Animals

Knight – Work Song – Hozier

Tai/Knight - 'I Don't Feel Trapped', a filk of 'I Heard Your Voice in a Dream' from Smash

Ilonara - Embrace Me You Child - Carly Simon

Vega 7 – Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

Lee Livingstone - Lily Allen - Holding on to Nothing

Felix Weber - Gorillaz - Every Planet We Reach Is Dead

Jack Priest - OK GO – Obsession

the Hussar barring Luxe - Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack - He's A Pirate

The Hussar/Renown - Vic Tyler - Good Ship Manatee

Lucifer – Last Resort – Papa Roach

Lexi – Heal The World – Michael Jackson

Marian Stride or Luxe Rosenberg - Mercedes Lackey - Signy Mallory

Captain Stride - Santigold - The Riot's Gone

Tessa Elation - The Runaways - Cherry Bomb

Antonia Salas - Mozart - Lacrimosa, from the Requiem

Raina and Bradley Bells van Dalen - The Seekers - Walk With Me

Maja Petrovic - Koza Mostra & Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol is Free

Sunny - I Can See Clearly Now - Johnny Nash

Scarlett - Riders on the Storm – The Doors

The Apparitions - Velvet Goldmine soundtrack - The Whole Shebang

Apparitions - Florence + the Machine - Breaking Down

Last session - Leslie Fish - Carmen Miranda's Ghost

Princess – The End of The World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) – REM

Apparitions – Spooky Scary Skeletons – Andrew Gold

1) Or are generated by it. Or model themselves to mirror it. Or something.
2) The EESTF
- hey, the EESTF are a well-disciplined team who never mutiny against their captain. Never. Except that one time.